Things to do together

Providing a focus or activity during grief is often helpful if sometimes found difficult. So here are some ideas which have been used by myself and family and friends or as part of a bereavement group which have proved useful to us. We hope some of these will be useful to you too.

Also remember that times of quiet and remembrance is highly important. Do not be afraid of silences.

Marking special dates with a day away to contemplate can help too. We found this helpful for the first few years but there is no given period of time allocated to this if it is helpful.

For regular meet-ups over a cup or tea or coffee (alcohol is discouraged initially as it subdues and does not allow for facing the darkness but hides from it. At sometime, the darkness has to be faced in order to find the light, and company to do this is part of the process, so tea and coffee work but alcohol just blocks this essential healing time from us).

Suggestions for meeting up ver a cup of tea::

• Bring some old photos along and share over a cuppa

• Talk about favourite or meaningful music and stories

• Recall those special moments/memories and share your own

• What was your loved one's favourite food/drink? share thoughts

• Talk about a favourite film/books your have shared

• What about those favourite places you went to? share memories

Suggestions for activities in no particular order -

Feel good activities:

• Some Hairdressers will call to home/ centres if asked or accompany each other to visit your local one. It is hard to begin with but company helps.

• making a point of dressing in nice clothes

• Nail painting - just for feeling good about yourself,

• Sport share

• Garden/nature/wildlife share

• Personal history of life/work share

Practical support for those facing newly living alone:

• housekeeping  tips for bereaved couples -  

• Basic cooking and freezing to support this next stage of life

• ‘Sew a button on’ type of tips

• Gardening tips

• Household DIY tips

Spiritual/emotional outlet support comes in ‘mindless-mindful’ activites

• Creative art with paint, clay, wood, shells - expression of feelings - dark or light without hiding. Nothing is shameful about what we feel, only natural. Human. 

• Acrostic Poetry writing about a loved one - expression of thoughts using letters of their name

• quiet times to just 'be' - embrace your sadness; celebrate your everlasting love

Create opportunities to eg learn/practise a basic craft- hobby support:

Share each others skills in eg

• Knitting/crocheting

• Kitchen Gardening

• Collecting and crafting walking sticks/bean sticks/pea sticks for allotment groups/local gardeners

To take part in community support tasks:

• Path clearing

• Litter picking

• Stone wall building eg some lovely mindful work has been done in memory of loved ones along the rivers Ffrwd and Clydach to direct the flow from eroding banks

 There will be others too. Look up your local community groups or just step out with a friend to begin with.