No one understands

One of the things which comes to us all in our time of grief is that no one understands our grief. 

It is natural to think that because no one does understand. 

Grief is personal. 

Our relarionships have been personal and they continue to remain personal even after death. 

Death doesn't separate us wholly. The physical presence is separated but the spiritual and emotional senses that the love we shared brings remain with us and will do so eternally.

That is a good thing, It may bring our heartache deeper at the moment, but in time, that will become our strength for our futures.

We never live without our loved ones. They remain with us always.

We will however in the future, live life founded on the love we have known.

They have loved us so we can live.

Whether we have lost a deeply loved spouse, parent, sibling, or the devastating and untimely loss of a child; perhaps a close friend... our grief like our love, is real, profound and unique.

Whether we have gone through natural causes in death or tragic circumstances, these will differ our responses and our ways of coping.

We cannot undo things.

For those with faith, or who question faith, my faith tells me that God doesn't cause heartache, but as the presence of love, he walks through our heartache with us, holding our hand. Sometimes this is experienced as an internal feeling; sometimes it is through the outstretched hand of a family member or friend close to us or sometimes someone we didn't expect to reach out to us. 

Love remains. Love gets us through the hard times and renews us without re-modelling us. We are the same people, with the same histories, loves and life but we are changed by our loss, but not lost because of it.

We remain part of that loving relationship we have known, even if we begin new relationships in the future. Love multiplies without end. That doesn't devalue the love we have known, or lessen the love which comes our way.

 Love is an amazing experience. It supplies our life, our needs and brings our hopes. It never ends, it is not selfish nor possessive. Look up the words of 1 Corinthians chapter 13 in the New Testament part of TheBible, for a beautiful description of love in its wholeness and you will find your life, past and present and future all rolled into one there.

Take time to embrace your grief; for that is part of our love pouring out; but at the same time, be encouraged to eventually move forward, not away from your loved one, but to surviving because of them. This is the way you can do them honour. 

We hope and pray that the help on this site, although cannot cover everyone and everything, will be a help to you and your family to walk this path.

We can never step into the same river water; but we can be a part of its flow, just as we are part of life's flow. It is a journey with many experiences, and they all add to the tapestry of life we have been granted and our loved ones want us to live not for them, but because of them.

May God bless you and keep you safe; or may the love around you be your blessing and your safe keeping always.

Remember to check out the links to assist your unique situation in grief support on the Home page.